I try not to get too political on the quiz site, especially after last week's clusterfudge of events here in the UK but it can't have escaped many people's attention that a man called Jeremy Corbyn is the leader of the Labour Party. But maybe you didn't know that because you've not read the newspapers since Diana died or perhaps you have been busy watching all 37 seasons of "Those Americans Next Door!" on Netflix. But relax! Help is at hand with this very easy new quiz:
Jeremy Corbyn, Jeremy, Corr or Bin?
Are the following facts about a). the leader of the Labour Party (at time of writing), b). Jeremy from the Pearl Jam song "Jeremy", c). Caroline Corr or d). dustbins?
1. Worked on a pig farm in Jamaica.
2. Known to fans as the "Chick with Stick".
3. Takes pictures of manhole covers.
4. Bit the recess lady's breast.
5. Were first introduced to England in 1875.
6. Appointed honorary MBE in 2005.
7. Dislikes people who make a mess with the toothpaste.
8. Got two Es at A-level.
9. Won the Parliamentary "Beard of the Year Award" a record six times
10. Oscar The Grouch from Sesame Street lives in one of these.
How do you think you did? Lets find out, shall we?
1. That was Jeremy Corbyn, 2. That was Caroline Corr, 3. That was Jeremy Corbyn too, 4. That was Jeremy from Pearl Jam's awful song, 5. That was the first weekly dustbin collection, 6. That was Caroline Corr for services to charity and music, 7. That's also Caroline Corr!, 8. That was Jeremy Corbyn, 9. That was Carolin...oh ok, it was Jeremy Corbyn, 10. That was BINS.
Join me tomorrow for our new quiz "Michael Gove OR A Hole In My Arse?"
Strap your opinions to your face and run to the nearest Scout hut to cast your constitutional right in a little booth because (if you're in England because that's where I perhaps foolishly assume most of my readers come from) Its Voting Day! Whether it's Police commissioner, local council or which flavour delicious New Covent Garden SoupTM you want for dinner, it's important to make sure your voice is heard. Because god knows, the people who disagree with you will be! Donald Drumpf etc.
But what if you could only vote for people whose birthday it is today? Well, thats a frankly ludicrous suggestion and should not be considered. But imagine if that was the premise of a quiz! Which ten candidates born on May 5th are represented here by their campaign pledges?
1. My P.R.O.M.I.S.E. to you is that no matter what happens, I will stand by my manifesto. 2. No matter where I am flying in the world, I will keep an note in my diaries to stick to the mission and never spam you with yarns. 3. I pledge instant contact. No calls diverted to answer phone. Maybe I could take you for a drink on Tuesday and see how the week goes from there. (Except Sunday.) 4. Some may say it's a fable but as a syndicate of humanity, black and white, we can all make this populous great. 5. Steel yourself for a man who knows what is best for this world, even if I am not from here myself. 6. Despite what my surname suggests, I am neither a sitcom hologram or like to put my wilbus up around the bottom area. No cooking of the books but lets do brunch. 7. I promise a sparing of cutters across the board by 1984. (A sparing of cutters across the board by 1984.) Sorry, is there an echo in here? 8. If elected, I will increase the use of terrifying electronic noises on them big reel to reel tape machines and some oscillator things. If you've got the Time, then I'm your Lady. 9. Hello, its me. I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet to go over increased EU subsidies on corn and wheat by-product importation. 10. You want a manifesto? I got your manifesto right here. Top marks.
Today is also rapper and repeated woman puncher Chris Brown's birthday but he can, of course, die in a fire. And now the results from the Buttocks (South) council...
1. Tammy Wynette, 2. Michael Palin, 3. Craig David, 4. Peter Molyneux (games designer), 5. Henry Cavill (actor and current Superman), 6. Simon Rimmer (chef), 7. Ian McCulloch (Echo and The Bunnymen), 8. Delia Derbyshire, 9. Adele, 10. Karl Marx
