When compiling a new quiz, I tend to have a nose at the history of that day and see if there was anything going on in the past that would be a neat hook for a few daft questions. When I looked and saw for today: "April 29th 1994: Commodore International declares bankruptcy." my brain instantly thought "ooh I should do a quiz about all my favourite Amiga games of the time!" because I was a huge fan of my Amiga 500 and played it throughout the majority of the nineties. Then sense and reason kicked in and said "nah, that's far too niche, nobody is going to enjoy that!"
And then I thought "sod it" and did it anyway...
So here are twenty of my favourite Amiga games that weren't Sensible Soccer (because I simply couldn't just choose one version of it and if I'm honest SWOS was the superior game but I missed being able to score piss easy goals from the centre) because I...well, just because really. Answers after no doubt a barrage of "YOU LIKED THAT??!?!" on Twitter...
1. Road Rash, 2. Pinball Dreams, 3. Micro Machines, 4. Rock Star Ate My Hamster, 5. The Secret Of Monkey Island 2, 6. Zool, 7. Superfrog, 8. Archer MacLean's Pool, 9. Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe, 10. Shufflepuck Cafe, 11. Prince Of Persia, 12. Monty Python's Flying Circus, 13. Lemmings, 14. Theme Park, 15. The Blues Brothers, 16. Sensible Golf, 17. Rick Dangerous, 18. Sleepwalker, 19. Dyna Blaster (Bomberman), 20. James Pond 2: Robocod
I was recently in the three by two foot section WHSmith has left allocated for magazines next to the chocolates, cards, Kobo Readers, board games and novelty musical socks. (You know, just next to the internal Post Office and the fourth KFC.) Anyway, it was there I noticed a new copy of Kerrang! magazine, a periodical I read faithfully between the years 1995 to 2001 and had assumed folded the minute I stopped reading it because music was not as good as it used to be.
Amazingly it was full of new bands I'd never heard of in my befuddled 35 year old state. All Time Low? Pierce The Veil?? I. Ron Maiden? WHO?!? Where were the likes of Symposium, Midget, Tampasm and Kittie? The only face I seemed to recognise on a cursory glance over was actually a drawing: Pandora, Ray Zell's excellent snarky rock star dismisser who had taken down all the bands of my reading era. Not that I had a clue which current rock star she was presently snarking at but it was good to see her carrying on nonetheless.
And so I wondered if any of the old strips were online and - would you adam and Eve 6 it - there's a whole archive!! You can guess the next bit...
Which various musical types is Pandora graciously allowing in her strip below? Answers after Continuum...
1. Ash, 2. Jon Bon Jovi, 3. Green Day, 4. Ozzy Osbourne, 5. The Hives, 6. Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit), 7. Marilyn Manson, 8. Courtney Love, 9. Jonathan Davis (Korn), 10. Keith Flint (The Prodigy)
"Its only a game / so put up a real big fight / I'm gonna be / throwing some darts / tonight". So almost went the theme to a programme not about darts but I couldn't think of any songs about that and I'm fairly sure music by the 70s pop act Darts wouldn't count. I'll start again...
It's Eric Bristow's birthday! "The Crafty Cockney" is 59 today and still probably the most famous darts player in the world after Phil "The Power" Powerington, Ian Darts and the late Harry Secombe. His autobiography (amazingly titled "The Crafty Cockney") is one of the finest books on sport ever to be written by a man named Eric Bristow. To celebrate, I've got ten quotes from it here for you. But only six of them are real - can you find the fake flight-flingers and the true tungsten-tipped talking?
As they say in darts - LETS DARTS!
1. "My first detention was for farting on the school headmaster. He called me a 'darts-obsessed youth' and I called him a 'non-darting fanny'. I had to write a thousand lines about being respectful to my elders. I thought 'We'll see who has the last laugh when I pick up the News Of the World Under 18s Trophy!"
2. "I always walked the streets with a claw hammer stuffed down the front of my trousers in case of any trouble. Everywhere I went I took it with me. That claw hammer became my best friend. It got me out of some sticky situations because you never felt totally safe walking the streets of Stoke Newington."
3. "In 1988, I was asked to be a guest on Paul Daniels' Magic Programme and I thought why not, something to show the kids so went on and was asked to tie the feller into a mummy's tomb thing. I genuinely couldn't see how it was done and I worked out who did it in Murder On The Orient Express in 20 minutes. But that little baldy was just too quick for me that day. Dickhead."
4. "I loved having babies around the house. I was fine with changing nappies and mopping up sick. I was a New Man before the term had even been coined."
5. "I've always loved the darts but if there was money in playing Connect Four, I'd have happily been World Champion at that. I just always seem to win my games. Its like a magic spell. I was shit at Buckaroo though."
6. "I blame Roy Castle for the smoking ban. I did a few charity events in aid of the Roy Castle Foundation and the one thing that got me was how all the smokers there were frightened to light up. I just went dink at the first opportunity and puffed away. Then I’d hear the dink, dink, dink of other people’s lighters as they followed suit. What a bunch of idiots."
7. "We were all in the pub one night having a bit of after-time and Brian got a bit rough with this gay and started pulling him about. He was having a laugh, but going a bit over the top, as he was inclined to do when he’d had a few beers. He ended up pulling this gay by the arm and it came off in Brian’s hand. Brian just stared at this arm in bewilderment. I was on the floor rolling about with laughter. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen. In the end the one-armed gay landlord said, ‘Give me my arm back,’ snatched it off Brian and put it back in the socket."
8. "In 1987, I was playing in an American casino when a Yank came up to me and said, ‘You crazy mad Brits, shooting all those people in Hungerford.’ He was referring to the Hungerford massacre when Michael Ryan shot and killed sixteen people with two semi-automatic rifles and a handgun before turning the weapons on himself. I said, ‘I’ve never heard of Hungerford, you dickhead. What are you on about?'
9. "I've never believed in ghosts but one night coming back to the hotel in Manchester after a few too many sherbets I got a bit lost and had to ask directions from this black geezer in a fancy hat. He put me on the straight path and the next morning after a full English and a kip I thought I'd go out and find this guy to offering him two tickets to the final for being so kind. But when I went back he'd gone and nobody around had any memory of seeing him. Still haunts me to this day."
10. "We were all in the green room before filming started when Rod Hull came into the bar. He was the surprise celebrity guest who came on at the end of the show. I wasn’t keen on him; I’d seen what he did with other people. He basically used the puppet to feel up women and stick his hand between people’s legs. It was out of order. We’d all had a drink, perhaps one or two more than we should I went straight up Rod Hull’s face, eyeball to eyeball, and said, ‘Now listen, pal. When you come on set later on with that fucking silly bird of yours, if you come anywhere near me with that fucking thing I will knock you out straight, on telly, whether it’s fucking live or not. I will bop you.’
When Hull came on later on he was pulling Jim Bowen all over the place with his stupid Emu, but he didn’t come anywhere near us; he daren’t. Then the silly sod went and fell off his roof and died some years later. What a plonker. When I heard about it I thought, well it’s a pity that bird can’t fly or it could’ve saved him. I didn’t like Rod Hull. He was a pervert who was getting away with something that wasn’t right. That’s why if he’d touched me inappropriately with his hand I would’ve sparked him. His bottle went when I threatened him. He’d only come down to have a quiet drink before the show, but I had to nip it in the bud. I didn’t want another situation developing as happened on Michael Parkinson’s show a few years earlier where he assaulted Michael so much that he fell backwards off his chair. That was well out of order."
Answers after the old Bull and Bush....
The real quotes are 2, 4, 6, 7, 8 and 10. Especially 10.
On April 20th 1964, a new television channel called BBC Two proudly launched with a live show of music, comedy, drama and a giant fireworks display. At least that's what would've happened had Battersea Power Station not caught fire sending the channel into black out. Famously the first real programme to air instead was the following morning's "Play School", which ultimately as fine a debut as any channel could ask for.
Since then BBC Two has been bastion of the higher purpose with more cerebral, worthwhile programming than its sister channels, where the arts could thrive and experiments could be made in drama and comedy...until about 1999 when it became mostly renovation and cooking programmes. But let's not dwell on that and instead remember the great shows that first started out on the second channel. And that can only mean...
Yes, its time (well...two days late) for another bunch of programmes reduced to just eight words for you to guess. All of this selection began life on BBC2 and years on air have been provided to offer an extra hint. Answers after they show The Goodies...
1. Despite what he says, it wasn't the news. (1994)
2. Price of the car was the only reasonable thing. (1977)
3. Thirty one years in nine episodes. Northern powerhouse. (1996)
4. Former controller reinvents both nature docs and himself. (1979)
5. Bed, breakfast and a poor recognition of hamsters. (1975)
6. Rapid relaying of character catchphrases. Which was nice. (1994)
7. Could you happen to provide any employment, friend? (1982)
8. Life in showbiz is hard, especially when talentless. (1987)
9. The aged music seal of approval. No humming. (1971)
10. It wasn't on the trolley. Victorious on T.V. (1985)
No Maurice Mitcheners were harmed during the making of this quiz.
1. The Day Today, 2. Top Gear, 3. Our Friends in The North, 4. Life On Earth, 5. Fawlty Towers, 6. The Fast Show, 7. Boys From The Black Stuff, 8. Filthy, Rich and Catflap, 9. The Old Grey Whistle Test, 10. Victoria Wood As Seen On TV
Who knew when I launched this blog that one of the most popular features would very quickly turn out to be wonky watercolour paintings of 1970's celebrities? Well, everyone probably because no matter how much we say its "sociological research into pre-Thatcherite Britain" and "valid social history", really we're just fascinated at the fact a magazine could look like that in this modern age of glossy, gift-bulging titles. Doesn't hurt some of the contents are (as they should be) baffling to a 2016 audience. But, as always, now ask the question: "Who the f**k ...in Look-In?"
Which celebrities are seen here in all their 70s pomp and glory?
Answers afer OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?
David Kid Jensen, Mike Reid, David Cassidy, Les Dawson as Superflop
Are we still doing the 1996 thing? Well, okay then. Looking back at Tuesday's TV quiz, there were a few folks surprised I'd missed out what was for them the biggest telly event of the year - no, not the episode of Seaquest DSV where Darwin said "knackers" - but Doctor Who which was back back BACK! For 85 minutes! (89 without PAL speedup) And then it was gone again! Which from a modern perspective, eleven years and four Doctors into a revival, was a blessing in disguise, no matter how good Paul McGann was in the role.
It had rated well enough to finish ninth in the week's TV with over 9 million viewers on a Bank Holiday Monday in May. Sadly in America, the story was always that it was crushed by its competition and only managed 5 and a half million. Enough to launch fifty Netflix series on now but in 1996, not great for national US television. So, what did it go up against? Well, that's for you to tell me in The Great Time Lord Rivalry Of 1996...
Here are six screengrabs from the actual episodes up against Doctor Who the night of May 14th 1996 (The John Larroquette Show, Wings, Moesha and CBS' Totally Animals amazingly did not make the list) but can you work out what the programmes are?
And as a bonus, here are four more programmes and episodes that aired that same week on the same channel as Who. (Fox.) Can you guess them all?
Answers after Jimi Hendrix picks up his puppy....
Home Improvement (Alarmed by Burglars), Roseanne (Heart & Soul), Ellen (The Tape), Frasier (The Focus Group), 3rd Rock from the Sun (Selfish Dick), NYPD Blue (Closing Time), The X Files (Talitha Cumi), The Simpsons (Homerpalooza), Beverly Hills 90210 (Ray of Hope), Married...with Children (The Joke's on Al)
Did you know that as well as being a world champion quizzist and powerful blog-wrangler, I also write and perform for various podcasts? One of which is "From The Sublime", an excellent review of recent pop-culture put together by journalist Iain Hepburn.
The latest episode is now available to download and is a special "1996" themed show with features on the likes of This Life, the much missed Neon magazine, Baddiel, Skinner and the brief spell of Euro 96 fever, pop and the promise of Babylon Zoo, WWF vs WWE vs NWO, celebrating Scottish fiction with the Children of Albion Rovers and there's myself talking about the time Bob Mortimer and Noel Gallagher went to Chris Evans house for Good Friday tea.
As a bit of cross promotional confrontation, here's a special 1996 movie quiz in which SIXTEEN of the year's biggest films have had their logos adapted to make a sentence....just. How much do you remember about the tinseltown tosspots of twenty years ago? Lets find out...
Answers after some fashionable heroin.
Independence Day, Twister, Mission: Impossible, The Rock, The First Wives Club, Romeo and Juliet, Ransom, The Cable Guy, Trainspotting, Striptease, Mars Attacks!, Eraser, The Birdcage, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Jerry Maguire, 101 Dalmatians
