Saturday, October 31st, 1992 9.25pm Ghostwatch(BBC One)
"A Screen One Special drama for Hallowe'en by Stephen Volk, starring Michael Parkinson, Sarah Greene, Mike Smith, Craig Charles. Ghosts no longer inhabit stately homes and rattle chains. They live in ordinary council houses like that of Mrs Pamela Early. For months she's suffered strange noises, awful smells and bent cutlery, but is hers really the most haunted house in Britain? BBCtv turns the cameras on ghoulies, ghosties and things that go bump in the night."
This week, the dark anthology series "Inside No. 9" more or less pulled off a creepy live special that went deliberately wrong, causing the deaths of its stars and showing images that were never meant to be seen. For viewers over a certain age, there was only one programme they could compare it to. But today's subject wasn't a cult comedy tucked away on BBC2, this had over 11 million viewers thrilled, perplexed, terrified and entertained by a piece of fiction airing prime time Saturday night on BBC One. To put those numbers in perspective for 1992 that was slightly less than were watching that week’s oddly forgotten old folks home sitcom “Waiting For God” but thankfully more than Jim Davidson's “Big Break”.
A one-off play airing under the regular “Screen One” banner, "Ghostwatch" took advantage of its Halloween night scheduling with an alleged live broadcast investigating a haunted house going hideously wrong as the spirit of “Pipes” slowly infected the programme, initially in “blink and you’ll miss it” cameos, before stepping up to causing the off-screen disappearance of reporter Sarah Greene as Craig Charles and her real life husband Mike Smith look on in horror. It ends with Pipes eventually possessing the host Michael Parkinson who intones “ROUND AND ROUND THE GARDEN LIKE A TEDDY BEAR” as the studio collapses around him. Cats yowl. The screen cuts out. The full cast list is scrolled. Continuity continues. BBC One move on to “Match of the Day”. The nation tries to go to sleep*.
Despite this blatant staging, Radio Times listing containing the full cast and outright explanation it was merely a fictional play, “Ghostwatch” showed the power of television on people of all types – some scoffed at the ridiculousness, some were deeply disturbed and many rang into the BBC and the Duty Log to lodge either complaints or check if this thing they were seeing was in anyway possibly real. With no Twitter or Facebook to back up and debunk, it’s understandable how deeply the show affected people. The simple power of television.
As for me, I was watching it alone aged 12 and more than a little freaked out. We didn’t buy the Radio Times so the comforting brace of a cast list wasn’t there to check but I had definitely seen the “Screen One” introduction at the start so in the back of my mind knew it had to be fiction. …right? I wasnt scared but just to give the other channels a chance I occasionally flicked to a different show for a bit of respite - probably not ITV as they were showing "Wall Street" whilst Channel 4 had the uninspiring double bill of "Court TV" and racing highlights but possibly "Monty Python's Flying Circus" repeats on one of the German satellite channels which can be just as creepy in its own way - before heading back for the latest bit of Pipes-mania.
Looking back, its easy to grin at the acting, graphics or staged feel but, over 25 years later, we're still talking about it and no doubt will for a long time to come. Your move "Inside No.9"....
*Unless they turned over to BBC Two who were showing an entire theme night through until morning under the title “The Vault of Horror” hosted by the erudite and charming “Dr Walpurgis” (created by genre aficionado and author Kim Newman and played actor Guy Henry under an extremely well done rubber mask) and featuring the TV premiere of the quite good “Creepshow”, Hammer’s “The Curse of the Werewolf”, 1935 classic “The Bride of Frankenstein”, hoary 70s cannibals-on-the-London-Underground-spectacular “Death Line” and, in the “shit kids might be up early now watching” slot at 6:10am “Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein”. More excitingly for horror fans were new featurettes on Dario Argento, The Evil Dead series, make up legend Tom Savini, EC Comics’ horror titles and much more. The slot was so popular that was used for late night scary movie sections over on BBC One on 1993, 1994 and 1996 with Guy Henry now appearing as simply as the increasingly daft “Dr Terror”.
8.25pm: Golden Silents(BBC One) "The stars of the silent comedy screen introduced by Michael Bentine from the National Film Theatre, London"
Another one of those "blimey, that's in the slot you'd have Masterchef or Paul O'Grady's Cry At Some Dogs now!" picks in which the former Goon and "Potty Time" presider Michael Bentine presented black and white films without commentary. This particular edition is brilliantly titled "I Moustache you to take off that Moustache" and is literally about old clips where the people have moustaches - amazingly, yes, Charlie Chaplin was heavily featured. Footage remains elusive today although probably exists on a rusty old film canister somewhere thanks to the programme being co -produced by famous comedy hoarder Bob Monkhouse via his production company Mitchell Monkhouse Associates. Monkhouse had already produced a very similar programme "Mad Movies" for the other side. A few years later he'd be visited by the Serious Crime Squad who confiscated his 16mm collection leading to a landmark court case in which it was legally decided that people could own 'copyrighted' material if only used privately for personal entertainment, and not for profit or gain. By this point the first video machines were already being released in Japan and soon everybody would have their own stash of tapes, just like Bob's.
Sunday, 10th October, 1971 6.15pm A Chance to Meet Father Hugh Bishop (BBC One)
"Superior of the Community of the Resurrection, Mirfield: an Anglican community of priests and laymen involved in pastoral and educational work at home and overseas."
HELLO!
Thursday, October 10th, 1974
10.00pm: Election 74(BBC and ITV)
"Alastair Burnet heads into night-long action again the team who were first with the right prediction (and fastest with the results) of the February election. David Butler explaining the detail behind each result. Graham Pyatt interrogating the computer as it instantly relates each vote to the national trend. Robert McKenzie keeping the score and Robin Day interviewing the winners - and the losers." (BBC)
"Peter Jay, economics editor of The Times, chairs an ITN panel of leading politicians, trade unionists and business executives. They includc Lord Hailsham, Lord Chancellor in the last Conservative Government, Robert Mellish, Labour Chief Whip, and Jo Grimmond, former leader of the Liberal party.Peter Snow reports regularly on the trends as they are spotted by the ITN computer and displayed on the VT30." (ITV)
Burnet on the Beeb and Peter Snow doing his technical wizardry on ITV? What kind of crazy year was 1974!?!? Well, one with two general elections for starters, thanks to a hung parliament at the earlier February vote, leading to a second ballot in which Harold Wilson's Labour Party squeaked in by just three votes. But what about the telly? Well, BBC won automatically by only going off air at 4am to ITV's 3am at a time where TV general conked out around midnight. The Beeb also had the finer warm up programming with a first run episode of "Porridge" ("Men Without Women") before the final regular edition of "Steptoe and Son" ("Seance in a Wet Rag and Bone Yard") at half 9. ITV would go a little more highbrow with a post-polls closing edition of "This Is Your Life" dedicated to disability campaigner Jack Ashley, the UK’s first deaf MP.
Monday, October 10th, 1983
6.40pm: Riverside(BBC Two)
"On Riverside this week studio music is provided by Paul Haig. Mike Andrews visits the Hacienda Club, Manchester for a chat with New Order and comedy from yet another Edinburgh festival success John Sessions of whom the press said 'Mr Sessions is a satirical mimic of the first order and a very fine actor to boot'..."
A now mostly forgotten pop'n'youth prog which is pleasingly well represented on YouTube with performances from a lot of the decade's best bands. Ex-Josef K man Paul Haig's performance is here (sadly in rotten quality) whilst the interview with Manchester's most lovable shits, The New Orders has been heavily bootlegged due to their keen fanbase. The same can not be said for the John Sessions fans though and the appearance by the then 30-year old John Gibb Marshallwill have to exist purely in your minds. And I bet whatever you're thinking he did, that's exactly it.
Monday, October 10th, 1988 10.20pm: The Oprah Winfrey Show (Channel 4) "Ranked as America’s No 1 talk show, this new series from the States features actress Oprah Winfrey as the bright and bubbly host. With a panel of guests and a lively studio audience, Oprah candidly discusses anything from husband bashing to the girl next door. She asks the questions we want to ask — if only we dared."
An oddly late night appearance for a chat show that was making a lot of headlines at the time, fronted by one of the Oscar-nominated stars of the recent Spielberg film "The Color Purple" Oprah back when she was just a human and not the trillionaire golden god of all television ever. The show didn't lats long in this slot but would be a regular afternoon feature on Channel 4 before BBC2 and later Channel 5 snatched it. The programme continued until May 2011 whereupon Oprah needed her very own channel - OWN - to branch out. Back in 1988 though, she would have it out with some of the biggest creeps around - wife-beaters, rapists and whatever this prick is meant to be...
Thursday, October 10th, 2002 9.50pm: Look Around You(BBC Two)
"The first in a new series of short films parodying educational programmes from the late 1970s and early 1980s tackles the basics of mathematics and numerology. Producers: Robert Popper and Peter Serafinowicz"
A brilliant show that was never quite allowed to be a cult, due to some serious online hyping ("Little Mouse for Christmas No.1" anybody?) and the swift release of a DVD. There's loads to enjoy though with the references to old schools programming being really spot on right down to the music which was made by Popper and Serafinowicz, who himself was already too well known to comedy fans for this to believable as a real old show, themselves under the moniker "Gelg". Being placed before the patchy third series of "The League of Gentlemen" meant many saw it whilst tuning in early for the latest unhappy adventures of Royston Vasey.
"23.15: The Late Show: Later A new weekly music series presented by Jools Holland , including two guest bands plus an additional acoustic set. Producer Mark Cooper says Later will provide an eclectic mix of artists: "It is not intended to be rock- or chart-orientated, although we do hope to feature some mainstream artists." ● STEREO"
And thus, 26 years ago and two and a bit hours after the "Culture" episode of "Bottom", one of the longest running British programmes quietly launched to a stream of "Isn't Naked City on?", "he was better in Squeeze" and "was that Rowland Rivron?""Later....With Jools Holland" came into being as a spin-off from BBC2's much missed arts strand "The Late Show" with a simple "bands in a room playing music" format which as we can see from episode one onwards hasnt changed very much at all.
The Christians there, flogging their third album "Happy As Hell" which had just charted at a less-than-spectacular No.18 after a No.1 and No.2 in 1988 and 1990 respectively. Yet in terms of success when compared to the other three acts featured on the first episode of "Later...", they were unquestionably the headline band. Next would probably be The Neville Brothers - sadly not the football ones - but an American soul / funk collective of four - yes! - brothers named Art, Charles, Aaron and Cyril who had a minor UK hit in late 1989 "With God On Our Side". Their sixth record "Family Groove" had been released the Monday of this edition to very little interest indeed. Whether thats because the lead single was the most 1992 sounding cover of Steve Miller's MOR stodge classic "Fly Like An Eagle" featuring Steve Miller himself on guitar is hard to call. It failed to chart.
Whether they were pissed off when Seal had a very similar sounding hit with it five years later as part of the "Space Jam" soundtrack is unrecorded. Athough frankly it had been better if none of these versions had been recorded in the first place. Sorry, its easy to sneer I appreciate from my comfy armchair in 2018 with all the exciting chart music like...um...thingy with the hat and the lass with...the...eyes? Back in 1992, it would unquestiionably have been a pleasant opportunity to see some lesser known musical acts that were not being forced to sing tunelessly in front of Tony Dortie. Like Nu Colours...
Another one of those "I'm sure I remember that!" dance pop sounds from the time although they again wouldn't see much success in the charts, peaking at No.31 in 1996. Its a shame because the harmonies are really impressive and belie the gospel sound they initially identified with. Their separate vocals would eventually find their ways as backing to the likes of Robbie Williams, Lighthouse Family, Lulu, Squeeze, Paloma Faith, M People, Tin Tin Out and...oh, The Christians' "Happy As Hell". And finishing up this premiere edition of Jools' grooving organ were D'Influence, another act that would come to be better known for their songwriting and remixes. Here's them on this very show. along with some now trademark suitably awkward banter around the piano with Jools...
It was a slow start but considering the early days and later slot, its still a solid vehicle for live music which gives a window to a lot more urban, soul and RnB music than we perhaps collectively remember between the guitar spankers. Whether you would tune in and assume it'd be midway through its 53rd series in 2018 is doubtful but the fairly open (i.e. not metal) "if its hip" policy led to some of the biggest, best and plain strangest lineups of musical turns squished together on the box. Future series one editions would feature such awkward bedfellows as Denim and En Vogue, Sonic Youthand Shabba Ranks and everyone's favourite lousy bastard Morrissey on an episode with obvious pals Matthew Sweet, Tori Amos and Chris Rea.
As for me, I love "Later...With Jools Holland", I just wish it was on at a earlier time. With a different presenter. And less music...
Christmas shopping isn't fun at the best of times and the late night Thursday opening, whilst initially seeming quite useful, quickly turns into a bustling pit of gormless and increasingly panicked festive purchasers. Not great for a claustrophobic, bookish eight year old scared of his own shadow who couldn't even buy anything if he wanted to. And yet that’s exactly the position I found myself on the 30th of November, 1989. But first, here's the charts...
...looks good, shame I missed it. I was getting kind of into pop quite a bit by that point but my true love was comedy. Looking at the TV schedule for that night, I would have been eager to get home for "Blankety Blank" and Victoria Wood's series of one-off playlets on BBC One, I might even sneak a look at "Smith and Jones" at half nine on the same channel. Over on ITV, I would've been happy to miss a 7pm showing of "After Henry" whilst on Channel 4 there was repeat of the historical big business sitcom "Brass" although I didn't understand a word of it and they didn't even have a laugh track to tell you when to join in! And as for these laffs...
Despite looking like a rather unexciting evening's entertainment, both in the real world and on the small screen, Thursday November 30th 1989 was still one of the most exciting dates burnt into my pint-sized brain. But why? Well, - even though today is the official 49th anniversary of its launch - that for me was the start of "Monty Python's Flying Circus".
I have a vivid recollection of getting in and being allowed to watch my little portable black and white telly for half an hour in bed. It was a perfectly normal event for me by then as I'd long been obsessed with comedy and 9pm on BBC Two really was the place to go for it. This would've been its fourth or fifth run out in some form or other - the 1987 repeats had been slightly too early for me - or too late, being as they aired well after my bedtime. But now I was here and the first episode I saw was the episode one of series one ('Whither Canada?') to boot! A few minutes of dead pigs, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Italian language lessons in, my mum came to kiss me goodnight. Bewildered by what I was seeing, I can recall asking her if I'd like this series. As I say, I was a nervy child and the alternative 80's comedy shows were frequently full of violence and grue so I felt it best to check. She said she didn't know but that it was very silly. I decided to stick it out and over the coming weeks was rewarded with something that looked on the surface like the more traditional comedy I knew such as the Two Ronnies and yet genuinely felt like nothing I'd seen before. To say it changed my life borders on typical hyperbole but its probably not far from the truth. I just couldn't stop thinking about it.
The repeats were to celebrate the twentieth anniversary of Python's first broadcast on the 5th October 1969 and in true BBC fashion they missed the date entirely, catching up on 18th November with the new compilation "Parrot Sketch Not Included" on BBC One. After which there was a two week wait for more new oldness.
Whether the Beeb held back because of the appallingly coincidental death of Graham Chapman, just one day before the twentieth anniversary is a nice thought but unlikely. By the time the 25th anniversary came round the BBC weren't holding back, starting their big repeat run in July and even showing rare as hen's teeth special "Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus". As for me, I was lapping it all up as a fully confirmed Python obsessive. I excitedly borrowed the WH Smith box set of series two from my uncle and watched it endlessly. Then there were the films, the books and with "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" suddenly charting,almost as if it was aware I'd just become a fan, the brilliant records. And the computer game for the Amiga (which you can read more about here)! I'd even watch Flying Circus repeats on German satellite TV, in English with subtitles, which made a strange series, even more unusual.
So, October 5th 1969 might be the true birthday for Python but it doesn't hold a candle to November 30th 1989. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go trivialise the war...
All the Slades in today's installment of the blog but first up, an unsteady Marxman...
Sunday, October 4th, 1959
7.35pm: Showtime with Chico Marx (BBC Television) "David Nixon introduces Showtime with Chico Marx making his first appearance on British Television; Eve Boswell the South African singing star and Mata and Hari, America's most sensational comedy dance team with Stanley Unwin, The Television Toppers, The George Mitchell Singers and the Orchestra."
In 1959, it had been ten long years since the Marx Brothers last headlining film, the god awful "Love Happy", which had been meant for just Harpo before a heavily in-debt Chico was stuck in alongside an uneasy Groucho. Ten years later, things were clearly not much better as this wobbly but amazingly still-existing appearance on the BBC's popular variety show, just two years before his death in October 1961 aged 74, shows. Who knew that Chico needed the money...?
Friday, October 4th, 1963
10.15pm: The Strange World Of Gurney Slade (most ITV regions)
One of the most original, unusual and fascinating sitcoms ever made, Gurney Slade, played by Anthony Newley (you know, from the Garbage Pail Kids Movie), is the bored star of a sitcom who decides in episode one to walk out and find something better to do. Viewers, used to Newley's light pop career and more traditional variety turns, had been thrown in 1960 by this surreal, droll comedy which was moved from half 8 to half 11 after two episodes aired so its a surprise to see this repeat run crop up in 1963 although Newley having co-written (with Leslie Bricusse) the Broadway hit "Stop The World - I Want To Get Off" might have helped. The same month also saw Newley return to the chart with the hit comedy album "Fool Britannia" recorded with Peter Sellers and his then-wife Joan Collins sending up the extremely topical Profumo Affair. [Listen to it on Spotify here.]
This was episode five which features Gurney reading a lengthy folk tale to a group of chidlren before they're intruded upon by a worse-for-wear Bernie Winters being propositioned by Maureen Connell. Its probably the dullest of six truly magnificent half hours and still ends with a battle inside Gurney's mind with a magical tinker and an evil version of himself. Whether the three years had given viewers chance to catch up to Slade and Newley is unsure but its a huge stepping stone to the works of Cook and Moore, Python and lots of quirky British comedies that followed, not to mention some bloke called Bowie...
Thursday, October 4th, 1973 7.00pm: Top of the Pops(BBC One)
"An extra special edition of Top of the Pops to celebrate its 500th birthday featuring this week's chart successes and surprise guest appearances from the international world of pop."
Nine and a bit years after launching, The Toppermost Of The Poppermost reaches a very important milestone. And no, of course you cant watch it because its presented by that horrible old fucker. Pause for a joke about Noel Edmonds. Sadly, the cigar chomping, fright-wigged Fix It pederast is all over the episode so its perhaps a mercy that most of it seems to be lost, although some section remain in black and white such as this Who appearance. A few of the inserts have made it to YouTube though including this message from Slade (not Gurney) who were in the middle of a US tour trying in vain to convince the Americans that they shouldn't wait until 1983 for "Cum On Feel The Noize" to be a hit.
Interesting to note the band singing Happy Birthday to the tune of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" and saying they'll be back soon as one of the tracks recorded during that American trip would be released in December and become somewhat associated with the festive season...
Thursday, October 4th, 1984 8.30pm: Looks Familiar (Channel 4)
A smashing line up for a showing of Denis Norden's gentle "Do you remember things?" panel game. When Denis died earlier this year there was a wonderful outpouring of genuine warmth of the sort he himself encapsulated as the host of programmes like these. "Looks Familiar" had been a long running series for Thames TV before ITV decided that some old people talking about some old things wasn't for them anymore, at which point dynamic young upstarts Channel 4 said "Oh we'll have it then!" And thus it continued until 1987 there.
Yesterday was a rotten day for the announcement of deaths. First came the news that Geoffrey Hayes, long time star of "Rainbow" had passed away aged 76 before rumours of legendary Spanish comic artist and "Judge Dredd" co-creator Carlos Ezquerra's death started to appear online. These were two very different people that, in one way or another, shaped distinctive parts of my adolescent life so to lose both in one day was awful.
Ezquerra had one of the most distinctive styles of drawing around and could make even the dreariest stories come alive although he found much more interesting jobs under Pat Mills and John Wagner on titles like "Battle Picture Weekly", the controversial "Action" (where the unfortunate colouring of a copper's hat of his "Kids Rule OK!" cover lead to outrage in the papers and the immediate watering down of its content) and the all new "2000AD" in 1977 where he got to work on characters like Dredd, whose initial design he had created and continued to develop through epics like "The Apocalypse War" saga. Later for short lived sister title "Starlord" he and Wagner went on to devise another iconic world as Johnny Alpha and his band of mutant bounty hunters made a name for themselves in "Strontium Dog". Ezquerra's art really was like nothing else I'd seen in comics with a mix of cartoonishness, elaborate shading and a perfect eye for staging his characters to look like the most battle-scarred, action packed bastards you'd run a mile from in the street.
These words barely scratch the surface but there are so much better tributes by Lew Stringerhere, comics guru John Freeman at Down The Tubes and 2000AD themselves. Keeping with the theme of baffling old tat we usually have here, here's a few adverts for 2000AD from 1977 and 1994 respectively...
I don't recall seeing this one at all. Strange also that they'd spend on a TV campaign when the following year would see a Judge Dredd-movie inspired refit of the whole comic with most of those characters axed, plus a short lived "Lawman of the Future"comic for younger readers.
And here's a ten year tribute to Tharg's mighty organ filmed in 1987 (although I'm buggered if I can work out what for? A Comic-Con?) which sadly doesn't feature Carlos but does a pretty great job of dragging in everyone else important in its then-history, including noted miserable bastards Pat Mills and Alan Moore. Who didn't do the interview and wasn't there when it didn't happen.
The death that undoubtedly hit people of a certain generation hardest however was Geoffrey who had been a comforting and dependable presence throughout countless children's upbringings. I still remember the drama when it was axed and brought back without him, the papers having a field day with the fact he had to get a regular paying job as if it was something to mock. Eventually he waited long enough for the nostalgia for his old work to kick in and hopefully made a good living with TV appearances, spin-off items and a billion student discos. Friends who met him paint an image of a lovely, enthusiastic man who kept smiling despite constantly having to put up with boring arseholes coming up to him saying "LOL ZIPPY SMOKING A DRUGS" and "IT WAS A METAPHOR FOR PENISES" for the last three decades of his life thanks to, in part, the now infamous "Twangers" video which was recorded by the cast full aware and tongue-in-cheek for a internal Thames TV end of year party tape which Victor Lewis-Smith presented on "TV Offal" as a failed pilot - a fact many dimmer viewers took as gospel - especially now depressingly divorced of context on YouTube.
Here's Geofrrey in earlier days as a barman in an advert posted up by the internet's leading Rainbow aficionado Jenny Morrill of the always fun World Of Crap.
And here's the whole cast having a great time managing to be effortlessly funny ("That was before the Ayatollah, Bungle...") and knowing without being snide or selling out the conceit in a 1989 interview. Not sure about that bloody song though...
Finishing off, here's a clip that is very dear to me. Geoffrey, who could have been incredibly bitter about his recent sacking, instead turns in an absolutely storming appearance on Lee and Herring's Radio 1 series "Fist Of Fun" in 1993 sending up the whole idea that "Rainbow" was anything less than TV's first "fly on the wall" documentary series. Its hysterical without needing to resort to "LOL, I bet Zippy smoked a weed!" gags and a perfect example of how tuned in to its audience Lee and Herring were back then.
R.I.P. Carlos and Geoffrey. Thanks for the colour you brought to our lives.
Time for a TV time warp through six decades of television past, from the magnificent to the frankly confounding. Today there's room for dodgy deals, punk children's sketch shows, a chat about Yerp, dancing bears, Nessie-hunting, obscure Australians and moonlighting DJs but first, some bloody CULTURE..
Thursday, October 1st, 1959
8pm: Othello(BBC Television)
In 1959 there were two notable productions of "Othello" with the first being a tour de force starring role for the legendary Paul Robeson in his final stage appearance, as Othello for the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford. The other was Verdi's musical version of the same tale "Otello" which had recently been recorded by NHK Symphony Orchestra in Tokyo. This, however, appears to be neither of those, but being as listed star Charles Holland was a professional opera singist, we can assume it was probably a version of the all musical version with the singing and that. Okay, I might not have much to say about proper arts programming but the idea of this being in the same slot that now is home to "DIY SOS", "Do A Baking, Mate" and "Christ Is Eastenders Still On?" is worth noting upon.
Meanwhile over on the commercial channel, Granada were showing "floodlit football" highlights of Man Utd vs Real Madrid in a friendly which the foreign lot won 6-1. The matches were the Spanish side's way of helping out after the horrific Munich air disaster had resulted in the deaths of many Manchester players and staff. The following month a rematch was held with United still losing but this time 6-5 providing some much needed optimism to the city.
Thursday, October 1st, 1964
Answer: Probably, yes because he is dressed as the Gestapo bloke from Indiana Jones. And also he is the bloke from "Tripper's Day". Hope this helps!
Wednesday, October 1st, 1969
Yes, because Sooty was always known for his elaborate dance moves, wasn't he? And as for the "clock shop" business, if it ends with the punchline "well stick two hands and a face on that" immediately call the Police.
Friday, October 1st, 1971
9.20pm: The Great Debate (BBC One)
"The motion: That Britain should now join the EU Common Market. Leading the case in favour: Rt Hon Christopher Chataway, David Steel MP. Leading the case against: Rt Hon Barbara Castle
In the chair Robin Day. In studios around the country a selected audience of over 1,000 people chosen as a sample of the British Public. A computer will process the answers and the result of the Great Debate will be announced."
Ooh christ, I didn't expect the blog to get so blisteringly topical so quickly. Its always worth looking at how much went into getting Britain into the EU back in the early seventies now we're facing down the barrel of exiting. And yes, it was largely about brown people then too. I wont spoil how this original debate ended but thankfully for those who wanted to avoid international incidents, offending races and lies told on a massive scale, over on BBC2 at the same time was...
9.20pm: The Goodies: The Loch Ness Monster(BBC Two)
"The Goodies save a suicidal zoo-keeper and meet a canny Scot."
After an unsure but unquestionably unique first series, "The Goodies" returned to BBC Two just ten months after their last run ended - and five weeks since BBC One had finished repeating those - with an episode full of playful if slightly overcooked Scottish stereotypes helped along nicely by star turns from Bernard Bresslaw and Stanley Baxter. It's not the greatest episode of the second series (Although not the worst as "London to Brighton" and "The Lost Tribe" attest) but with the likes of "Come Dancing", "Gender Education" and that one with the cat coming up, its a colourful introduction to a series deservedly on the rise.
With Network releasing the complete BBC shows, just last week as I write this, there's been a lot of new analysis and looking back over the trio's output which unquestionably wavers (I say this with some confidence having watched six discs of it over the past five days) from great to dated, leading to berks with websites to fill smashing their faces against the keyboard to create 'articles' about The Goodies being offensive, but the imagination and scope of the series always wins out and it definitely helps to see them flowing in the context of the time when coming across a more problematic episode. Personally, I think the programme's issue is less race or homophobia - although both rear their heads in a earnestly right on but now cringeworthy way - but the sheer amount of "phwoar"ing at nude tits, which are in abundance. It's this reason I haven't tried to show it to my own kids yet but selectively choosing, I reckon they'd get just as much fun out of Kitten Kong, the joyful final ten minutes of "The Movies" or a giant goggle-eyed Loch Ness Monster being ridden into Cricklewood as millions before did.
Wednesday, October 1st, 1975
8.00pm: Frankie Howerd’s Tittertime(ITV)
"Frankie Howerd takes to the screen for an hour of Tittertime. You see, Francis loves titters — big ones, little ones, titters of every kind. In fact when it comes to knowing what he likes, he’s definitely a titter-man.And now folks give a special welcome for little Hughie Green for whom opportunity knocks when he joins Francisin a reconstruction of that famous movie The Night of the Generals ... and with Frankie Howerd in the lead it promises to be quite a night for those generals"
A one off special for the man who ebbed in and out of fashion like a yo-yo tied to a speedboat. 1975 had already seen Francis appear in "Further Up Pompeii", a needless revival of a sitcom that had only ended in 1970 whilst he'd end the year with another special "A Touch Of The Casanovas" which was quickly and correctly forgotten about. This sketch show was more standard third channel variety fare although with a script from three of telly's best - Barry Cryer, Ray Galton and Alan Simpson. Other ITV "Big Season" marked shows include the return of Titterguest Hughie Green's "Opportunity Knocks" (Mondays, 6:45pm) Lyn Marshall's "Wake Up To Yoga" (Sundays, 11am), a documentary about mining deaths and the premiere of Beryl Reid-starring lesbian nun acting extravaganza "The Killing Of Sister George". Titter ye etc.
Friday, October 1st, 1982
5.15pm: Teach Yourself Gibberish (ITV)
"Join the Berts at an Art Gallery of paintings and rubbish/stlll life offering hope for for the universe … enjoy the Berlin Catatonic Orchestra conducted by Reginald Drain (Bruce Mitchell) and go to the Oscars - will the winner by Clark Kent or JP Scott … and CP Lee delivers an Art prize load of artists to a puzzled housewife (John Bramwell)."
From one type of comedy extreme to whatever it was Alberto Y Lost Trios Paranoias fancied chucking at the viewers in this Granada-produced series that seemlessly packaged a comedy music act with a 1979 single called "Fuck You" and another EP about punks topping themselves in order to create "Snuff Rock" into people's homes as a teatime sketch show without losing much of their edge. Each episode would take a letter and use that as the theme for the episode including F for Fantasy, M for Mystery, P for Pop, E for Explorers and K for Lying. This was episode three - A for Arts - and features a genuinely spiky set of comedy pieces that feature a presenter accidentally garroting a guest, two aliens investigating what "the homos" think of art, a housewife receiving a van load of classic painters due to a misunderstanding, an episode of Leonardo Da Vinci's sitcom, a sensationalist advert for the Oxford English Dictionary, bandwagon-jumping exploitation flick "Disco Werewolf" and a closing joke about the whole programme being "a pain in the arts" that I suspect made a few unsuspecting grannies choke on their crumpets.
Their punk stage show background means the Albertos rarely aim at a child audience despite its 5:15pm listing and there's a lot of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" in its bloodstream. It could even be said to be a spiritual sprog of the Python-precursor "Do Not Adjust Your Set" with its breaking on and out of sketches, surreal oddness and musical numbers running throughout, as if the Bonzos had been allowed to break out of their guests slot and run the whole show. Sadly the band were no more by the end of 1982 and "Teach Yourself Gibberish" has fallen down nostalgia's sideboards and dying for a rediscovery soon.
Saturday, October 1st, 1994
5.30pm: Steve Wright's People Show (BBC One)
"The ebullient former Radio 1 DJ returns to television this evening with the first in a series of wacky entertainment shows. This week's celebrity guests include East 17 and Cyndi Lauper."
Christ, how soon we forget. One of two series of this second vehicle attempting to make Steve Wright a TV star after odd panel show "Home Truths" earlier in 1994. It's unsurprisingly rather dependent on whether you could stand Wright and his increasingly tired schtick which, like many British presenters of the time were guilty of doing, feels like a retread of old David Letterman ideas. This is doubly ironic as later in the same day's schedule Wright's uneasy Radio 1 contemporary Danny Baker was putting his own spin on old Letterman bits in the late night chat show "Danny Baker After All". Sadly I don't have this episode of the "People Show" (ugh, just he title sticks in your throat like a obsequious frog) but the following week saw two much more reliable comedy favourites appear to promote their new live video and generally get a feel for not being very successful on Saturday nights...
Friday, October 1st, 1999
11.55pm: The Adventures of Lano and Woodley (BBC Two)
"As it is Friday the 13th, the pair try to scare themselves by hiring a horror video."
And finally, a bit of a sadly forgotten Australian silliness which fits perfectly in the same world as Vic and Bob or The Goodies - indeed two episodes were directed by legendary British comedy person Bob Spiers who had worked with Oddie and pals on their later shows. This was a bit of a delayed broadcast for Colin Lane and Frank Woodley's 1997 comedy which the BBC seemed to struggle with scheduling, despite the duo winning the Perrier Award in 1994 beating such nobodies as Alan Davies, Jeff Green, Harry Hill and Al Murray. There was a short pause after series one went out in this late slot after which the second series was bumped to the slightly earlier time of...11am on a Sunday morning. The pair eventually split in 2006 but excitingly have just announced a reunion tour for Australia which should hopefully raise the profile of this brilliant but battered series.
An article from many years ago about a man and his cactus. Probably a bit more crude than I'd write now but still very proud of this piece from Talk About The Passion. Click any of the images to embiggen them.
Originally published in TATP Magazine, Summer 2009. Article by Ben Baker with assistance and memories from Darrell Maclaine-Jones. Design by Russell Codd.
And if you like it, there's loads more of that pop culture nonsense stuff here in the collected "Talk About The Passion" book priced right dead reasonably on the Lulu Press. Ta.
And so here we are. December 23rd and another day closer to the big ’un and unless you’re one of those unbearable people with self-control, you should have demolished most of your advent calendar by now all the time constantly eyeing up that double size "Day 24" section every time the hunger pangs happen. You might even have received your very own Christmas hamper like the ones Gloria Hunniford is always trying trick old people into buying even though there’s a very real chance they might cark it before New Year.
In town, there’s a genuine sense of thrill (or mild panic for us still behind on our present purchasing) with brass bands and carol singers appearing on the high street whilst department stores run eye-wateringly priced Grottos where your child might be in store for a special present from Santa (although more realistically it’ll be a promotional Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer Frisbee that’s been in the stockroom since 2008.) For the grown ups, your pasty and coffee places of choice are fully into their extended period of chucking anything even vaguely associated with the season into their “limited edition” recipes, from gingerbread to elf hair.
Despite all the stress, people are nicer, families come together and, above all there’s something worth watching on the box at long last. Daytime telly has scrapped the soaps and replaced them with the cream of films you got out of the video shop in the 90s. No The Karate Kid for you my friend! Its The Karate Kid: Part II all the way! And also: my condolences on having to watch The Karate Kid: Part II.
So pull out your third best box of chocolates and lets see what TV magic appeared on the hallowed December 23rds of yore...
“So You Think You Know About Farming? This annual event has the reputation of being the most difficult in the young farmer’s calendar.”
Every time the kids complain there’s nothing on, I’m often reminded by the grey Sundays of my youth with Brian Walden interviewing stuffy old men very slowly and endless refresher courses in whatever language was offering the cheapest package holidays at the time. And then there were the farming reports which I’m sure were very helpful if you were in the industry but the equivalent of watching slurry dry when you’re in single figures. As such this “Christmas quiz for young farmers in the East of England” must have been like an entertainment explosion in the otherwise staid world of cows and some more cows. Sadly the contents of this were not recorded and painstakingly converted to YouTube for me to check so I’ll have to defer to the TV Times for more information: “Ten contestants, one from each area Federation, battle with each other for Farming Diary’s coveted award the Silver Bull which will be presented by this year’s Miss Anglia.”
I think my penis just exploded.
Thursday, 23rd December, 1976 5.40pm: When Santa Rode the Prairie (BBC Two)
“A Festive Western by William Rushton. New Mexico, Christmas Eve 1876 and not a snowflake in sight. Tilly and Charlie Flagstaff have to spend Christmas at the Last Chance Hotel with their aunts, Santa Claus and an assortment of goodies and baddies.”
The joy of doing a book like this is finding out about truly unusual sounding little one-off programmes like this nestling cheerily in the pre-Christmas teatime telly schedules featuring people I really like. Rushton himself plays Santa in this 50 minute fantasy tale featuring songs by him and Roy Civil with a supporting cast that includes future Tomorrow Person Nigel Rhodes, Sue Nicholls and Victor Spinetti. Roy Civil is now a music teacher in the Northampton region. Sunday, 23rd December, 1979 9.40am: The Sunday Gang (BBC One)
“A look at Christmas. J.D. tells how it all began, with a report from Nazareth and Bethlehem. with Alison Christie-Murray, John Dryden, Jill Shakespeare & Glen Stuart. Special guest: Dana.”
Whilst most true Sunday Gang aficionados would agree that this was past the show’s prime (i.e Tina Heath had left for Blue Peter) but this light religious singin’ and a comedyin’ variety programme was a staple in the late 70s and often watched by kids just because there simply wasn’t anything else to do. The hosts were, as my friend author Tim Worthington put it, “a clean-cut do-good assortment of wannabe Youth Group Leaders, operating out of a clubhouse kitted out with a “computer” sporting a tape spool-hewn face with added piano keyboard, and a screeching puppet mouse called Mackintosh that called everyone ’sassenachs’.” Its this mouse that Dana spends most of her time “interacting” with during this special episode from the National Children’s Home in Frodsham, Cheshire. There’s room for some extremely boring film though however with “JD” making a trip to Tel Aviv because Christmas...and that. Plus lots and lots of unbearably over-enthusiastic singing and OVER EMOTING THE WORDS. Now bugger off kids, its time for Nai Zindagi Naya Jeevan...
Tuesday, 23rd December, 1980 9.00pm: Elvis – He Touched Their Lives (ITV)
“350 members of the British Elvis Presley Fan Club go each August to Memphis and pay homage. David Frost is among them.”
He touched what? Dirty sod! This documentary saw David Frost follow various fans around the haunts of Elvis’ life including his old school, the Sun Studios, where he made his first acclaimed recordings, a hospital he stayed in and, of course, his grave. It comes across like a slightly more showbiz take on Louis Theroux’s documentaries, never mocking its subjects but occasionally allowing them to hang themselves with their own obsessional or self-important words. There’s also a wry look at the selling of Elvis’s death and the near-religious fervour already surrounding his celebrity – although perhaps most shocking of all is the sight of the always on-duty Frost in a casual short-sleeved polo shirt.
Friday, 23rd December, 1983 10.25pm: An Audience with Kenneth Williams (Channel 4)
“A celebrity audience enjoys a virtuoso performance from one of Britain’s favourite comic actors.”
Kenneth Williams was only the third person to be awarded one of LWT's entertainment specials under the title An Audience With title (after Dame Edna Everage in 1980 and Dudley Moore in 1981). There was so much more to Williams than the Carry On films; he was a renowned storyteller, and one early theatre revue show – 1960's One Over The Eight – featured material by Harold Pinter and a very young Peter Cook whose classic routines “Interesting Facts” and “One Leg Too Few” (“I’ve got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is – neither have you.”) The late-evening showing of An Audience With didn’t bother Williams who wrote in his diary:“Heigh ho! I don’t care. The fewer viewers the better cos then I can use the material again!”
As well as many more on ITV, four more Audiences With would premiere specifically on Channel 4: Joan Rivers (17th March, 1984), a second one for Dame Edna Everage (31st December, 1984), Billy Connolly (26th October 1985) and Jackie Mason (27th December 1990). The reason for this, invariably, was because of worries over the strong material, particularly in the case of Connolly whose rude set also slipped in a few F words, toxic to television in those days.
“What does Christmas mean to the people at Blue Moon? For Maddie, it’s a time of warmth and giving – but not to Addison! For David, it’s an opportunity to initiate ’Santa’s Hotline’ and get that little extra in his stocking...”
Its fair to say that quirky comic detective series Moonlighting was something of a revolution when it first hit America's ABC network in March 1985. It boasted witty scripts, a perfectionist creator – Glenn Gordon Caron – who aimed to make a mini-movie each week and an amazing cast headed by the fast-talking Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis, rebooting and starting their careers respectively. Here in the UK, its feature-length pilot appeared in May 1986 on BBC One with the series itself continuing three days later on BBC Two. To catch up with America and the already huge demand, they ran the first and second seasons almost in full back-to-back by the time the third came around in the US.
Held back for obvious reasons though was 'Twas the Episode Before Christmas which finds Willis’s character David convinced he’s trapped in a festive allegory; Biblical tinged events like characters called Joseph and Mary looking for a baby and a visit from three (i.e. men with the same surname) Kings. The episode’s odd conclusion comes when the cast suddenly work out they’re in a Christmas episode: it begins to snow inside the office and carollers start to sing. On leaving the office they walk onto the set where to discover the musical accompaniment is from the crew of Moonlighting before breaking the fourth wall to wish everyone at home Merry Christmas. Okay, it sounds awful but I promise its quite sweet. Now, Christmas Eve in Nakatomi Plaza on the other hand...
Wednesday, 23rd December, 1987 9.30pm: The Home-Made Xmas Video (BBC Two)
“A Video de Dad. It’s full of lots of things about Christmas. What we did, where we went, what we ate, how much we all drunk and everything. It’s a great stuff! (The turkey, I mean.) But seriously...”
No Christmas period for me is properly started until I’ve seen this spin-off from a running sketch in Mel Smith and Griff Rhys-Jones's Alas Smith and Jones which took an affectionate but honest look at British working class families via the new-fangled home camcorder. There’s well meaning but quick to temper Dad (Jones), happy but put upon Mum (Diane Langton), kids Shirley and Peter (Jenny Jay and Nigel Harman) and their fun, illiterate and frequently drunk friend Len (Smith) who almost anticipates the character of Homer Simpson. Sequences involving simple acts like putting a wreath on the door, badly stealing a tree and visiting sick relatives are made into painfully funny sequences that are never played cheaply for cringe laughs. Likewise the family are rough but never sneered at by Griff and Robin Driscoll’s script which makes them fully rounded likeable characters and could easily have been spun off into a full series.
Mel and Griff's BBC Two swansong Alas Sage And Onion misses this book due to airing on 21st December 1988 which also happened to be the same night as the crash of Pan Am flight 103 onto the Scottish town of Lockerbie. The news broke just before that special went to air and viewers may not have been ready to be greeted straight after by a Beverley Sisters parody and a shot of the pair supposedly hanging from tinsel nooses.
Friday, 23rd December, 1988 9.30pm: Blackadder’s Christmas Carol (BBC One)
“Christmas Eve, 1850. Ebenezer Blackadder is a decent, kind, generous human being. As far as his loathsome ancestors are concerned, he is a wrong ’un. So, as soon as he is snuggled up in bed they decide to pay him a visit. A seasonal tale of almost unbearable cuteness.”
Reworking the character of Blackadder, established as a vicious scheming bastard over three prior series, Blackadder’s Christmas Carol is a superb reverse retreading of the Dickens tale as a sketch show for various incarnations of the Adder dynasty. Viewers of more recent repeats, however, have been denied one of the funniest lines from the original broadcast. Blackadder and Baldrick are discussing the workhouse’s production of the Nativity being hindered the high infant mortality rate and so a dog named Spot is instead made the saviour of all humanity (“I’m not convinced that Christianity would have established its firm grip over the hearts and minds of all mankind if all Jesus had ever said was ’woof’...”) A despairing Blackadder asks if the children were upset but quite the contrary: “...They loved it. They want us to do another one at Easter. They want to see us nail up the dog.” A line that would be in incredibly bad taste were it not for the fact I always end up laughing so much. Indeed, some viewers complained, meaning the line was cut.
(“The Black Hole of Calcutta is currently appearing in Baldrick’s trousers.”)
If you want to see much much more than this, then order "Ben Baker's Festive Double Issue". Available from this link here from £12.99! And Merry Christmas!
When Roy Wood first press-ganged those poor schoolchildren into singing I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday its a fair bet he wasn't thinking about December 29th - “when you're still eating turkey / and there's frig all on the bo-o-o-o-x”.
If Christmas Day is reserved for the very latest and best Disney and Pixar films, today is the day where Boring Adaptation Of Book No Kid Has Read For Sixty Years – The Animated Movie, 'Shrenk' – The Eastern European Copyright Free Ogre and Ice Age Goes To The Building Society To Take Out An Investment Loan live. Or worse – something in boring old regular hand drawn 2D! Bleh, did Walt Disney die then get immediately frozen in carbonite for nothing? (A: No. this is an urban myth.)
Reading back, I know I'm down on this post-Christmas Day period but that's mostly because my body almost always seems to take the opportunity at this part of the year to wave a white flag, declare itself on strike and fill me with flu, sickness and anything else that's going free. Lets be honest – Christmas is about being social and the problem with being social is that it involves other people. And other people are filthy disease-ridden bastards, especially your family. Why was your nephew scratching so much at the dinner table? Did Uncle Jeff always have that cough? And what was that thing where the xenomorph burst out of your sister's chest and ran off down the road? She always has to show off.
Besides its long past time your relations should have buggered off to their own curled turkey sandwiches meaning you can sit in the comfy chair Aunt Carol (the one who always smells of egg) stole the very first second you moved to go to the bathroom and wouldn't give up since. In fact, now you think about it, you never ever saw her once get up and go to the toilet herself... unless...
...maybe you will just sit on the sofa instead.
And anyway there might be an episode of Midsomer Death Crimes or Poirot In The Case Of The One That Was Much More Racist In The Original Book you haven’t seen on ITV3 and there's always Pointless. Beautiful, beautiful Pointless. There! So if you're still healthy and can feel both your legs, let the bells ring out for Easter. Or Summer. Or Brian Harvey's birthday. Anything that isn't bloody bleedin' Christmas.
If you know me, this is already pretty self-evident thanks to my healthy but insistent plugging on Facebook, Twitter and that ad I employed Chairface Chippendale to laser onto the moon. But if you're still unsure about buying it, let me try and gently persuade you a little further.
1. Its a TV quiz book
Yeah, so there's a few of those about. Walk in any branch of "The Works" (other middling Queen albums are available) and you'll find the likes of "Bill Beaumont's Big Book Of Bovril Advert Trivia", "The Pubbingest Quiz Quiz Book For Pubs Ever (TV)" and "The Pointless Book Of Bad Observational Comedy In Lieu Of Any Bleedin' Questions". But invariably they're always the same dull book, researched in about 1987, repackaged endlessly on ever cheaper paper with front covers that look a bit like some beer. Because YOU LIKE THAT.
I think my TV quiz book is unique because of my sense of humour which I've tried to pepper throughout the book, be it the daft titles like "Points of Groo", "Play That Funky Music Del Boy", "Bully's Special Piss" or "David Brent: Life In The Bin"; or questions such as "True or False: Actor Don Hastings soiled himself during a live episode of "As The World Turns" after badly misjudging a fart." to which the answer is much more interesting than you'd expect.
2. There are over 50 all new quizzes written by me.
Where you'll find the answers to questions like:
- Was there a Spectrum game where Benny Hill went round taking bras off washing lines?
- Can you name the Canadian comic actor who took the lead role in short-lived animated series "Gravedale High"?
- Which TV series was advertised on the Radio Times with the punning headline "Cheque Mates"?
- What BBC sketch show was nearly called "Peter Sellers Is Dead"?
- Squeeze were the first guests on which series later famous for appearances by Eric Clapton, Mariah Carey and Nirvana?
- What connects Postman Pat and US sitcom Community?
- Which member of The Monkees appeared on the same episode of "The Ed Sullivan Show" on which The Beatles made their debut?
- Did religious programming host Jess Yates invent Doctor Who villains the Macra?
And hundreds more!
3. Its not available in the shops.
Remotely Interesting is being ordered to demand by me from a website called Lulu. Its not cheap but its the best way I've found to get the job done. It also means that if you're looking for a unique gift for the telly addict in your life, my book (and its reasonably priced predecessors) is the perfect choice as they're not likely to have bought it themselves or received it from anyone else. And lets be honest, buying gifts is a pain in the arse, so let me help you!
4. There's something for all the family.
Yes, even Uncle Ken and his "ruptures". When I was a kid I loved watching Telly Addicts with Noel Tidybeard and we even got the 'Family' variant spin-off board game of it some time in the early 90s. Both were fascinating but utterly frustrating to me as a kid. I loved the old clips but how the hell am I meant to know what an Onedin Line is? Who cares about Compact? Why should I go Howard's Way? With this in mind, Ive tried to make sure there are questions for everyone in the book - from the smarty pants small-screen spod to the casual couch tripper, ages 8 to Subtitles 888.
5. Its a great way to support me.
If you've been a regular reader of this blog, my Twitter or listened to my far too numerous podcasts in the past and you liked them, buying a book is a good way to say thank you and give me a few quid so I can continue. I'm trying to make a living out of writing currently so any support that way would be extremely beneficial. And to make spending your money even more fun, there's even a Collector's Edition version of the book with bonus questions, badges, music, games and silliness for a small amount more. And if you're feeling particularly generous, an "Extreme Altruism" stream for deranged millionaires everywhere!
I hope people haven't felt too dogged by my advertising of the book but I'm very proud of it and know people will love it if they give it a nose. To encourage you ever further, I've set up a separate Tumblr to which I'm posting my favourite TV related oddities from my files every day. You can find that by clicking THIS CAPS LOCK MONSTROSITY HERE.
