Hello. I've hurt my back. Luckily, it says here in my diary that today is "National Sleepy Head Day", a Finnish celebration where...um, the last person awake in a household gets covered in water and famous Finnish personalities get thrown in water. Thank god I'm only big in Greenland.
So, while I lie here on my bed typing an an angle and swearing at passing oxygen, here's a small snoozy Susan of a quiz for you bedtime buddies.
Which TV programmes feature the following bedrooms? And who's bedroom is it for a bonus?
1. The Simpsons (Lisa Simpson's room), 2. Only Fools And Horses (Del Boy and Raquel's room), 3. I'm Alan Partridge (Alan's room at the Linton Travel Tavern), 4. Father Ted (Ted and Dougal's room)
5. Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Buffy Summers' room) 6. Wallace And Gromit (Gromit's room, specifically The Wrong Trousers here), 7. Red Dwarf (Lister and Rimmer's Sleeping Quarters, sadly from Back To Earth),
A: 8. Doctor Who (Adric, later Turlough's room), 9. Friends (Monica's room), 10. Rugrats (Angelica's room)
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an all-nighter to pull...
On June 20th, 1973 the world lost one of its most iconic figures at a ridiculously young age when Bruce Lee died just days before the release of the biggest film of his career "Enter The Dragon". His name would become synonymous with deadly accuracy, quiet dignity and martial arts skills envied the world over. ...unless you were a schoolboy in the 70s and 80s in which he was probably most famous as something bigger boys would shout whilst pretending to do kung fu kicks on bus stops and throwing the smaller ones' bags on the science block roof.
Despite being an 18 certificate release, "Enter The Dragon" would have been seen by every single lying schoolboy for decades although its actually much more likely that their information was gleaned not from the movies but 1984's "Bruce Lee" for ZX Spectrum and C64, one of the most popular games of the era as this powerful footage reveals...
The 80s were a strange but wonderful boom time for games with tiny teams of people working on full titles that could go on to be million sellers. With so many games on the market though, celebrity endorsements quickly became common with every sports person, musician or actor worth their salt having their own barely recognisable 8-bit home version.
Which famous folk are featured here in their own real 80's 8-bit licensed games?
1. Daley Thompson (Daley Thompson's Decathlon), 2. Benny Hill (Benny Hill's Madcap Chase!), 3. Frank Bruno (Frank Bruno's Boxing)
4. Gary Lineker (Gary Lineker's Hot-Shots), 5. Bob Monkhouse (Bob's Full House) 6. Samantha Fox (Samantha Fox Strip Poker)
A: 7. Geoff Capes (Geoff Capes Strong Man), 8. Bruce Forsyth (Bruce's Play Your Cards Right), 9. Jocky Wilson (Jocky Wilson's Darts Challenge), 10. Michael Jackson (Michael Jackson's Moonwalker)
Did you guess them all? If so, tell me on Twitter @ twitter.com/punkrockpubquiz! And if you liked the quiz, please do tell your friends. And now the serious celebrity tie-in omission I know you were all about to spam the comments with...Stuart Henry's Pop Quiz!!!!!!!!!!
Many achievements have been fought for and won throughout the centuries but the world never looked at us with such respect and admiration as this very date twenty years ago when the following epoch shattering moment occurred...
I can still remember where I was, although for decency I'll spare you what I was doing. Being a indie kid I should've loathed the Spices and all the gooey, hugging pure pop they stood for and yet, despite fancying them rotten, I couldn't help but be swept away by the sheer joy of the singles which would only get better and better throughout the next 18 months. When contrasted to the dreary post-Britpop indie fallout of the time, its easy to see why the nation embraced them with such love and inappropriate touching.
But it wasn't all Spice Spice Spice in the 90s, no ma'am, as some of the greatest pop of the decade had been performed by girl groups. Along with a load of old forgotten shite like Girl Thing, Girls@Play and Girly Girl Girlingtons Group (although I may have just made that one up). I wont have a bad word said about 21st Century Girls, mind who were bloody great fun.
Now I know what, you're all thinking, "Wot? No Buffalo G?" to which I say YES BUFFALO G!
Oh no, July's getting on and all the big shows are finishing. It can only mean one thing...SUMMER SEASON TELEVISION! Run, while you still can! As a reminder of those hazy, lazy, tediouzy days of yore, here are ten TV capsules from the Radio and TV Times with the programme names removed from this very day - July 14th - in the past.
What TV programmes are these highly informative and interesting capsules for?
A: Mission Impossible, Ghost Train, Murder She Wrote, The Two Ronnies, Sale Of The Century
A: Tales Of The Riverbank, Hale and Pace, The Incredible Hulk, Tom and Jerry, Charlie's Angels
If you like this quiz, please share it. Its that nice 'share' button on Facebook and Twitter. (But please not the Cher button, I don't have the insurance)
This week sees the 127th anniversary of the first issue from America's largest circulated newspaper, The Wall Street Journal, known best in the UK from such classic film lines as "Vice President! Fetch me my Wall Street Journal!", "Hey buddy, I'm reading my Wall Street Journal here!" and "Why don't you come up and see me and bring a Wall Street Journal with you sometime?" But for me as a bit of a font nerd, the most interesting thing about the WSJ is this...
Do you see it? Go on, have another look. Yes, the Wall Street Journal is bizarrely the only newspaper of note to have a bloody full stop in the title! A small visual point that makes it instantly recognisable and beloved to its daily U.S. readers. But how well would you recognise British newspaper logos, especially when reduced to the smallest features. Sounds like a quiz to me...
Which thirteen UK newspapers are represented here?
Oh, did that spell some words? Completely accidental I assure you.
Have I got some of the answers for you (yes)...
In order: The Mirror, MEtro, The Daily Mail, FinancIAl Times, Morning Star (the star), The National (Nat Onal), The Sunday Sport, The Daily TelegrapH, The GuARDian, The StAR, The Sun, The ObsErver, The Times
Which famous TV programmes are being written about in these genuine letters from listings magazines from the 60s, 70s and 80s?
1. Not The Nine O'Clock News, 2. Doctor Who, 3. Knight Rider, 4. Tenko, 5. Match Of The Day, 6. The Cosby Show
7. Blake's Seven, 8. Roland Rat (The Series), 9. Cheers, 10. Spitting Image, 11. The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, 12. Coronation Street
If you have any Radio Times scans, particularly of the 70s to 90s, and would be willing to share them for more future quizzes like this, please send a message on Facebook, Twitter or to the email address taxiforbaker@hotmail.com And if you like it, share it! Have a great weekend everybody! Hope there's something good on the telly...
I try not to get too political on the quiz site, especially after last week's clusterfudge of events here in the UK but it can't have escaped many people's attention that a man called Jeremy Corbyn is the leader of the Labour Party. But maybe you didn't know that because you've not read the newspapers since Diana died or perhaps you have been busy watching all 37 seasons of "Those Americans Next Door!" on Netflix. But relax! Help is at hand with this very easy new quiz:
Jeremy Corbyn, Jeremy, Corr or Bin?
Are the following facts about a). the leader of the Labour Party (at time of writing), b). Jeremy from the Pearl Jam song "Jeremy", c). Caroline Corr or d). dustbins?
1. Worked on a pig farm in Jamaica.
2. Known to fans as the "Chick with Stick".
3. Takes pictures of manhole covers.
4. Bit the recess lady's breast.
5. Were first introduced to England in 1875.
6. Appointed honorary MBE in 2005.
7. Dislikes people who make a mess with the toothpaste.
8. Got two Es at A-level.
9. Won the Parliamentary "Beard of the Year Award" a record six times
10. Oscar The Grouch from Sesame Street lives in one of these.
How do you think you did? Lets find out, shall we?
1. That was Jeremy Corbyn, 2. That was Caroline Corr, 3. That was Jeremy Corbyn too, 4. That was Jeremy from Pearl Jam's awful song, 5. That was the first weekly dustbin collection, 6. That was Caroline Corr for services to charity and music, 7. That's also Caroline Corr!, 8. That was Jeremy Corbyn, 9. That was Carolin...oh ok, it was Jeremy Corbyn, 10. That was BINS.
Join me tomorrow for our new quiz "Michael Gove OR A Hole In My Arse?"
Not only were you one of the most beloved companions to The Doctor at one of the most successful periods in the show's history but you played Romana II, an actual Time Lord of your very own. Few people travelling in the TARDIS back in the day could take on the title character for intellect and pluck AND could regenerate when necessary.
But what if Romana regenerated again? But could only regenerate into the forms of people who shared the exact same birth date as Lalla Ward? And people had to name who it was that had taken over the companion roles to various Doctors. Well with the most advanced digital rendering technology, we can make that a possibility! Sounds like a quiz to me.
Who's new at helping Who?
1. Pat Morita (Mr Miyagi), 2. Adam Woodyatt (Ian Beale), 3. Gilda Radner
4. Cyril Smith (MP and paedophile), 5. John Cusack, 6. John Inman, 7. Mel Brooks
8. Peter Baynham, 9. Clint Boon (Inspiral Carpets), 10. Henry The Eighth
As Doctor Who once said, "Hello, I am Doctor Who, may I use your toilet?" I think we can all believe in that. Clever Prime.
For children of the 1970s in Britain there were three certainties:
Getting into a Rolls-Royce in Stoke Mandeville was ill-advised.
Look-In magazine will feature an alarming hand-painted front cover of the biggest in vogue celebrity, musician or TV star (assuming that star is on an ITV programme only)
The Grimleys is on.
Moving back to number two and its always a source of joy to compile quizzes about old magazines as they really are the closest thing to a direct time tunnel with access to everything you could possibly need from that period in history. Or more likely with Look-In, a selection of baffled "WHO THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT?" (I was born in 1980, we didn't allow Skiboys.) pointing.
And I still haven't gotten over whatever this is...
So to help in my identification process, here are four front covers as its time to ask...
"Who the f**k ...in Look-In?"
Click here for the answers:
1. Paul McCartney, 2. Boney M, 3. Bjorn Borg, 4. David Essex
And as ever, if you like this quiz, please please share it! Thank you.
When most people think of Nod, the first thing in their heads in probably something akin to this:
It might even be this:
But only seemingly in my head does this turn up front and centre....
...a one-off strip from issue 48 of Viz Comic in 1991 featuring a youthful yet still fully mutton-chopped Holder who is soon to become obsessed with magic (the full strip will appear at the bottom of the quiz.) Such as my obsession and love of Viz that my brain regularly flicks to the many celebrity parodies that have appeared over the years whenever said star is in the news. Much of the time, the comic would place the star in a surreal, Beano-esque adventure although real life celebs would also show up in the long-running Roger Mellie, The Man On The Telly strip too.
Who are these sixteen celebs as interpreted by Viz?
1. Paul Daniels, 2. Stephen Fry, 3. Terry Wogan, 4. Jimi Hendrix, 5. Alan 'Fluff' Freeman, 6. Danny Baker
7. Ian Paisley, 8. Depeche Mode, 9. The Queen Mother, 10. The Queen
11. Morrissey, 12. Winston Churchill, 13. Jamie Oliver, 14. Jeremy Clarkson, 15. Jimmy Hill, 16. Shaky!
As ever, if you like this quiz, please share it! Follow me on Twitter and Facebook for more of the same. And as promised, the full Noddy strip (open it in a new window to make it bigger)...
An entire Viz quiz that was entirely safe for work! What were the chances?
No time for pleasantries today! We take you now live to Wikipedia where some facts are already in progress:"1829 – The first Boat Race between the University of Oxford and the University of Cambridge takes place on the Thames in London."
Well exciting stuff there, Brian. But what I want to know is - WHO WON? Come on, its one of those really obvious 'either / or' fifty-fifty questions that are perfect for pub quizzes. Two possibilities! and the best part? You already have the answer! Its just next to the wrong answer too! Time's ticking! Hurry and you could win a boat*!!!! (*you will not win a boat)
*inevitable Countdown theme to zero*
And the correct answer was...
OXFORD!
Did you get it right? Either way, there you go: a little bit of proper trivia ammo there for a future quiz night in the pub. More of those, you say? Well...alright then...
1. Personally I don't see colour but who has the first move first in chess: black or white?
White goes first.
2. What nationality was the first man to do a space-walk: American or Russian?
Russian (Alexei Leonov)
3. They both taste like cardboard and salt but which was founded first: McDonalds or Burger King?
McDonalds was started in 1940, Burger King in 1954. By Ian Burger King. Probably.
4. Assuming they aren't from [insert comedy backwards town of your choice], which has the most eyes: a human or a coconut?
A coconut has three eyes, a human should have less.
5. Pretend to care! Which is taller: The Shard or The Eiffel Tower?
The Shard is 19 feet taller. Swoon.
6. Go on then. Which point up: stalagmites or stalactites?
Stalagmites point up. Because you MITE trip over the bastards.
7. The brand name St. Michael is taken from the Christian name of one of the superstore's founders, but which one - Mr. Marks or Mr. Spencer?
Marks. I knew his brother Skid.
8. With which foot did Neil Armstrong first step onto the moon? His right or his left?
His left. MOON LEFT.
9. If I'm in Skipton, does the sun rise in the East or West?
East (The Sun appears to move from east to west. That's because the Earth is spinning towards to the east, so we see the Sun first appear there at the start of the day. The Sun 'rises' in the east and 'sets' in the west.)
10. Which was invented first: Monopoly or Hitler?
Adolf Hitler was born 1889, Monopoly invented in 1903. He preferred Hungry Hungry Hippos anyway.
Character 2: My long hours and insane workload are causing fatigue, depression and organ failure. I'll probably be dead in a month
Character 1: (thinks) When did people stop saying 'fine'?
HAHAHAAHAHAHA. Not my funny words there but those of birthday boy Scott Adams, creator of the always hysterical "Dilbert" comic strip about the funny nerd who is funny. You probably just didn't get it without the painstakingly hand drawn artwork to really push the funnies along. I mean look at this lot...
....how many of these hugely recognisable newspaper comic strips would you recognise if just reduced to their dialogue with no pictures? Sounds like a quiz to me...
Name the comic strip minus the comic strip part from these sample pieces of genuine dialogue....
COMIC STRIP ONE:
Character 1: Isn't this a beautiful valentine? I think i'll give it to the little red haired girl.
Character 2: She'll probably laugh right in your face.
Character 1: At least i'd be near her!
COMIC STRIP TWO:
[Characters both sigh]
Character 1: My life isn't turning out like I planned
Character 2: Mine either.
Character 1: I wanted to accomplish something.
Character 2: I wanted tuna.
COMIC STRIP THREE:
Character 1: Helga, would you get me a cold beer while you're up?
Character 2: Can't you see I have my hands full?
Character 1: That's okay...I'll wait till you put it down
COMIC STRIP FOUR:
Character 1: Hullloooooooo zeeba neighba....How you like try 'Box O' Funn'?
Character 2: Why would I step into a box of crocodiles?
Character 1: Is Box O' Funn! No can you see?
Character 2: Yeah I can see...but why would I believe it?
Character 1: Because it printed right dere in words. Dat make it true.
COMIC STRIP FIVE:
Character 1: It says here by the age of six most children have seen a million murders on television.
Character 2: I find that very disturbing! ...It means I've been watching all the wrong channels.
COMIC STRIP SIX:
Character 1: Here's the milk you wanted
Character 2: What took you so long?
Character 1: I noticed your mum in the street, struggling with some shopping bags
Character 2: So you had to take the long way home to avoid helping her?
Character 1: Exactly
COMIC STRIP SEVEN:
Character 1: Fred, what happened to the sausages?
Character 2: What a stupid question!
Sides suitably sore? Ready for the newsprint fingered answers?
1. Peanuts, 2. Garfield, 3. Hagar The Horrible, 4. Pearls Before Swine, 5. Calvin and Hobbes, 6. Andy Capp, 7. Fred Basset
And if you liked this quiz, please share it. Its hugely important to a tiny site like mine and makes all the difference getting the word out. Thank you!
We all love the telly, right? Shows like "The Big Bread-Off", "Britain's Got Some Tapdancers" and "Baddiel's Syndrome" are all we as a nation ever talk about by the 'watered coolers' of Great Britain. And don't even get me started on "Game Of Chairs"!!!!! Honestly, some days I think I watch so much TV I should get a badge for it!!!
Um...ok, that was weird. Moving on...
So, in order to scratch your TV itch, here's another "Looking Back On Today" quiz. Another chance to dip into the schedules of yesteryear and pull out some plums. Not like that, that's right out. But...
...What are these ten programmes that originally aired on this date - 3rd May - in the UK?
Remember! If you like this quiz, please share it with your friends!
And now a piece of thinking-time music before the answers.
NO!
1. Play School, 2. Spitting Image, 3. Call My Bluff, 4. The Waltons, 5. Vision On, 6. V, 7. 'Allo 'Allo, 8. Right To Reply, 9. The Magic Roundabout, 10. The Old Grey Whistle Test
Thrash your wilkins and climb onto the GPO roof because It's World Milk Day! That special occasion we've been waiting for all year round as Santa Milkmas comes round and brings special milks for us, as long as we leave him out a plate of Playstation 4s and cookies.
#Worldmilkday is even the 2nd biggest trending topic on Twitter right now...for some reason. And of course milk has been all over the tabloids and celebrity websites....
Who is seen here stepping out with Some Milk in a series of paparazzi photographs and definitely not pisspoor re-edits done in Paint by me earlier?
Who hasn't had any sleep? You haven't more like. Pffftt. I'm fine.
Where am I? MILK!
1. Johnny Depp and Some Milk (Amber Heard), 2. Ozzy Osbourne and Some Milk (Sharon Osbourne), 3. Kanye West and Some Milk (Kim Kardashian-West), 4. David Beckham and Some Milk (Victoria Beckham), 5. Lemonade (Beyonce) and Some Milk (Jay-Z), 6. E**on John and D***d Furnish (SUPER MILKJUNCTION)
Well, we started the week with a pop quiz so lets end with one. On May 26th 1933, United Artists and Walt Disney released the "Silly Symphony" cartoon "The Three Little Pigs" which gave the world the inescapable hit song"Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" Its hard to believe that there was ever a time when musical staples like that were ever not a thing, as familiar and ubiquitous as "Happy Birthday", "Mary Had a Little Lamb" or "The Boiler".
Its also an incredibly easy question to answer, no matter what those damn porcine pricks suggest, EVERYONE should be afraid of of the big bad wolf. He's got two adjectives in his name and they're both distinctly unfriendly, plus this particular wolf developed the skill to walk on two feet, speak and wear pants. (Not to mention be a tad anti-Semitic.) If only every song title was so easy to answer... hmm, that gives me an idea...
Which song titles could the following statements be answering?
The year of each record's original release has been added for an extra clue.
1. Firstly, not my name. Secondly, be more specific. Radio Leeds for example is on 92.4 FM or 774 AM. (1994)
2. You're 44, Mark (although you were 27 when you first asked). (1999)
3. According to Google Maps, the third-largest city by population in California has a large freeway system so take Route 152 onto Route 101 for a more direct route. (1968)
4. It is Robyn Fenty, although you're better known by your middle name. (2010)
5. Considering Christianity is one of the two most widely practiced religions in Africa, they probably do yes, Bob. (1984)
6. Personally, I hold little truck with the concept of real sorcery but do enjoy watching tricks. (1965)
7. Predominantly between November 1987 and July 1991. (1987)
8. Depends if you live anywhere near my house, Lenbert old boy. (1993)
9. Netdoctor.co.uk suggests it could be angina, an aortic aneurysm or pericarditis. (1999)
10. Because of the traffic and public decency laws, you silly Beatles. (1968)
Answers after I get these dogs back in.
1. What's The Frequency, Kenneth? (REM), 2. What's My Age Again? (Blink 182), 3. Do You Know The Way To San Jose? (Dionne Warwick), 4. What's My Name? (Rihanna), 5. Do They Know Its Christmas? (Band Aid), 6. Do You Believe In Magic? (The Lovin' Spoonful), 7. When Will I Be Famous? (Bros), 8. Are You Gonna Go My Way? (Lenny Kravitz), 9. Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? (Moby), 10. Why Don't We Do It In The Road? (The Beatles)
Its been a weird, unsettling and occasionally shocking year for celebrity deaths. Indeed, despite my non-believer status, I'd love to think there's an afterlife like a party full of incongruous stars having a knees up with an all-star band of Bowie, Victoria Wood, Lemmy and Prince entertaining a clapping Ronnie Corbett, Alan Rickman, Paul Daniels and Terry Wogan. And as the centrepiece, the late, dearly missed Burt Kwouk appears in his "dog bed pants" singing "Hey Little Hen" to a standing ovation from the delighted millions.
Of course, Burt played a myriad of beloved roles including, most famously, Cato in the Pink Panther films, plus Tenko and every oriental gentleman part David Yip wasn't offered in everything from Doctor Who to T-Bag, Space Precinct, The Avengers and Boon on British telly. But it was his role in the 1997-2000 Channel 4 "Harry Hill" shows, initially as a hapless chicken catcher, that cemented my love for him. Series two expanded his role and gave us the mini-sitcom "Harry And Burt At Home"...
These four to five minute segments would frequently revolve around the two in their shared bunk bed bedroom coming up with ways for Harry to get on zeitgeist-riding sports comedy panel show "They Think Its All Over" and befriend comedian Rory McGrath. Later, in a twist of supreme irony, the final series for Channel 4 (who repeatedly delayed series 3 then completely buried it) featured Harry and Burt trying elaborate schemes to get the former one of those "big ITV cheques". The highlight, however, was the sudden cutaways to snippets of songs, featuring both dressed fully as whoever they were impersonating. Kwouk clearly looked baffled by some of it but was having a whale of a time and gave it a real lift with some fantastic comic timing.
Here's Burt dressed up in ten of his funniest outfits. Can you work out who he is meant to be in each one? Answers below, after the parade...
And now the Badger Parade! Unless...PARADE'S OFF?! I'd better get down that grooming bay. Quick Burt, do one of your hit songs...
Its going to be bigger than Tenko! Rest in peace, Burt. Thank you for all the laughs.
1. Bob Dylan, 2. Gillian Anderson (Dana Scully), 3. Jonathan Ross, 4. Yoko Ono, 5. A Proclaimer (take your pick which, I like Ian Proclaimer best), 6. Annie Lennox, 7. Rory McGrath (or 'Britain's foremost Rory McGrath impersonator' Roy Bath), 8. Ed Simons (The Chemical Brothers), 9. Ant McPartlin (PJ), 10. Danny O'Donoghue (The Script, used to be on The Voice)
